Just a Taste
by katlynncore
Summary: This is a James/Lily story set in their Seventh Year. It's about the obstacles those two had to overcome to finally fall in love. By obstacles I mean a habit for lying and a skanky girl named Jas. Please read and review!
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** This chapter was inspired by the band Scary Kids Scaring Kids but it's not a song fic/chapter. It's actually more like a SKSK album fic/chapter. The only time I use lyrics is in the title and I'm only going to use the general idea from their songs. So, I hope you enjoy! Reviewing is much appreciated!

UPDATE: Right now, I'm in finals week of school, so I won't be able to write for a bit. I thought I might update all the edits I made to the story, though it's not as exciting as a new chapter would be. Sorry for the delay; please bear with me!

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine. The title belongs to SKSK and the rest goes to J.K. Rowling.

**Prologue: Just a Taste  
**

"I can't believe you. I can't believe this." My voice was flat with suppressed emotion. I was surprised at the amount of calmness I was showing. Inside I was screaming and containing the urge to cry. I would not cry in front of him; I refused to.

"Just listen to me, Lily. Please!" He begged to me as I turned to leave the empty classroom I had been pulled into. His eyes, like mine, were brimming with tears. I had rarely seen him cry in the years that we had been friends. "Just forgive me! I can't say sorry enough and I just want my best friend back. I miss you Lily!"

His words cut through me and I had to remind myself of what he had become, what I should have seen he would become. He was no longer my best friend. The person he had become was so different from what I remembered.

"I can't do this anymore, Snape. I can't be your friend any longer. We've just grown apart." It was getting increasingly harder to keep my tears held in, so I turned my back to him.

"Oh. So now it's Snape, no longer Sev?" His voice cracked on the last word and it broke me down. I could no longer hold back the tears, and they silently streamed down my face. "Am I really that forgettable to you? I thought I meant more to you! I thought you and me…" He couldn't finish his sentence because I wasn't the only one crying then.

"No, it's not that you're forgettable. Not at all! It's what you've put me through when we were friends! How much pain you've caused me and I just…I just couldn't stand it anymore! Especially not after fifth year."

I could see the flash of anger in his eyes after that statement. That seemed more fitting of the "New Snape" than what he used to be like. That realization made me even sadder.

"I told you I was sorry for that. Remember?"

"Yes. I remember. But only saying sorry is not enough."

"What else do you want me to do to fix this? Please tell me. I don't think I can come up with words to describe how disgusted I am with myself for saying that-that word to you."

"It's not just that you said it to me. Simply saying it at all…it's vile." I wanted him to understand that insulting anyone in that way was the most wretched thing to do. "Severus, I'm not going to tell you what to do to fix this rift between us because I honestly don't know what to tell you. It may seem like a simple word but it's not-"

He cut me off. "I know it's not a simple word, Lily."

"Well then, you have to understand the amount of betrayal I felt that day. You knew what that word meant to me. You KNEW how much it hurt me, and how hard I have tried to break through that stereotype, and how much grueling work I've put myself through. You knew! And then you went and-and called me that word and I just…I couldn't believe that it was coming from you--_my best friend!_"

There was silence after my outburst and we both stared each other down. Then his face slowly changed. It melted into an expression he used to wear, the way I remembered him to be, and he looked away.

I took that opportunity to look at him properly. He looked like he hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in years and his hair was much greasier than I remembered. Seeing him like that made me upset. I wanted it to be like it used to be in the worst way. Me and Sev: best friends. He used to be the one I went to with all my problems. The one I used to laugh with and to dream about the future with. I missed him terribly.

But seeing him like this made me realize that things could never go back to that, because we had both chosen different paths. He had chosen evil and I had chosen to _fight_ against evil. We did exactly as I had said before: we had grown apart, and now things could never be like the way it used to.

"Lily," Severus started after what seemed like forever. "I know things have changed and I know that I've hurt you. I'm sorry. Just please tell me that I haven't lost you completely because I wouldn't be able to bear it. I'm in love with you Lily Evans, as I've always been."

My heart dropped and my mind raced for the words that would harm him the least. The problem was that whatever I said, it would hurt him. I wasn't in love with him, and to be honest, I never was. Oh, I did love him, but not the way that he obviously loved me.

Plus, since he and I had stopped being friends, I had become closer to certain other people. Others like James Potter, for instance. James and I had started getting close in sixth year, and when we both happened to be the two Heads in Seventh year, we had grown even closer. In fact, I'd fell for him. I had fallen for the one guy I could never even hold a civil conversation with. James made me happier than I thought possible.

"Sev-…I-I can't. I don't…I don't feel the same way." Tears started gushing out of my eyes more freely now. "I just can't. I love you, but not like that. The only thing I ever had to offer to you was friendship. I'm sorry."

The expression on his face looked as if I had stabbed him then twisted the knife. I felt like I had. No matter how much we had grown apart, I still didn't like hurting him.

It was a long moment before he could speak. His face showed an array of emotions. It was like a battle between heartbreak, sadness, defeat, and fury. In the end, anger won out above all the rest.

"So that's how it is. You don't feel the same. Is it because of your precious Potter? He could never love you like I do, Lily."

That made me angry. "Oh really? How so? How could you ever love me more than he does? More than the guy who never gave up on me and always defended me? You know, if I can recall correctly, he defended me against you a few times."

"But I've loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. I have always loved you! What could you say for him? Tell me Lily, does he honestly love you?

"And I could protect you Lily! If you haven't noticed, a lot of people have been dying out there. If you were with me, I could keep you out of danger! Potter, on the other hand, would probably be dragging you into harm's way, even if it was unintentional."

"How dare you." I said in a deadly voice. "Of course James loves me. Just about as much as I love him. And do you really think that I would care about protection from you against your 'friends'? I'd rather die."

With that, I turned on my heel, and walked out through the door. I couldn't take it anymore because I knew that we were going nowhere with the conversation. If I had stayed, we would have hurt each other more, if that was even possible. It was too much pain for one day. As I walked down the corridor to the Gryffindor Common Room, I tried to put the conversation behind me and get on with my life.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Okay I'm going to explain the layout of my story so no one is confused. The prologue (between Lily and Snape) is a scene from somewhere near the middle or end. Starting with this chapter it will all go in order. The only exception is if I use flashback inside of a chapter (the difference being that the _entire_ chapter won't be in flashback). Sorry if this note is insulting your intelligence, but I just wanted to make sure nobody could be confused. Thanks for reading and reviews are really appreciated! : )

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _anything_. That would all be JKR's stuff. Well, except for the title, which goes to Paramore.

**Chapter 1: Adore**

How could he have been doing this to me? To _me_. I wasn't supposed to be feeling like this about _James Potter_. I mean, we were friends, but that was it. If anything, I was the one who should have been making _him_ feel like this. It was common knowledge all around Hogwarts of how James had felt about me since we were in third year. It was also common knowledge of how I felt about him.

But my hatred towards him had changed last year when I had realized how stupid and childish I had been acting. So, to change this, I did something that, unknowingly to me, sent the entire school into a frenzied buzz. I sat with James and his friends at breakfast. That's it. I never thought that his and my feud was so important to everyone, but apparently it was.

Eventually, as it happens with all things, people moved on and didn't pay us any attention. I sat with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter every day from then on. I became really good friends with them, so much so that they included me in on loads of their little secrets. Throughout sixth year, I really got to know James and realized just how great the guy actually was.

Then, my stupid feelings got in the way and changed everything. Eventually, I wanted to be more than just friends with James. Everything that used to annoy me about him became my favorite things: his messy hair (that he constantly ruffled to make it even messier), his easy laughter, his humor, and his lightheartedness; the list could just go on and on.

And there were new things that I discovered about James that made me love him even more. Yes, I said love. How could I not love him? He was loyal, funny, kind, brilliant, etc. He was the kind of guy who would defend first years against the tormenting Slytherins. He would stay up late some nights to patiently help me with my grueling Transfiguration homework, which I could never understand no matter how much he explained it to me.

"Hey, Lily," my friend Mary whispered, pulling me out of my reverie. "You might want to get to work. McGonagall's been staring daggers at you for ages now."

"Oh. Thanks." I answered with a quick smile and got back to writing the assignment McGonagall had sprung on the class. However, it was difficult to keep at the task at hand, not just because of the overbearing thoughts I was having, but because, well, it was Transfiguration and, as previously stated, I was no good at that class. When it came to tests and such, I always hoped luck was on my side.

It was because of James that I was recently getting good marks in Transfiguration. I was always amused when James helped me study. You could tell he liked that class by the way his eyes lit up when he was explaining the material to me. It was the same way when he talked about Quidditch. I loved to listen to him talk about Quidditch.

Merlin, I was in deep. I mean, I _hate_ Quidditch.

But I really couldn't help it! Sometimes when we were talking, I had to use all of my self-control to not snog him right there on the spot. I guess I probably should have because the opposite would happen when I would plan to tell James how I felt.

It was curious, because every time I voluntarily tried to act upon my desires, nothing would happen. I constantly tried to plan out what to say when the time came to tell him how I felt, but then an enormous sense of fear would hit me. I'd become paralyzed: no sound would come out of my mouth and no movement from my muscles. I concluded that the only time I would be able to let myself go would be on the spur of the moment. This surprised me, considering that I never was the impulsive type of person.

Plus, it's not like James kept how he felt about me a secret. That should have made it easier, but when we became friends, he stopped asking me out and showing any interest in me at all. What if he'd changed his mind? What if he had moved on? What if he only saw me as a friend now?

Those "what ifs" were going to be the death of me. Obviously, I shouldn't have been in Gryffindor, considering how much of a coward I was.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day was one of the worst ever for me. I had planned the previous night to let James know how I felt. I was completely determined to really tell him this time, and I felt confident about it. I woke up extra early to catch James alone at breakfast; he was always one of the first people to wake. Surprising, I know. You'd think he'd be more like Sirius: sleeping so much that he was almost always late to our first class.

I tripped lightly down to breakfast, so I wouldn't accidently wake anyone. When I entered the Great Hall, I scanned the hall's small number of occupants for James. Finally, I spotted him and my heart sped up to a marathon pace. Luck was on my side, because he was sitting all by himself.

"Hey, James." I greeted him, my voice wavered. How embarrassing.

"Hey, Lils. What's wrong? You seem, I don't know, nervous or something."

"Oh, um, I'm j-just scared to get back the-the assignment we had in McGonagall's class yesterday. I don't think I did so well." Great. I was stuttering as well and, probably, blushing vehemently too. I could feel those pesky butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

"Oh, well, I don't think you have anything to worry about. After all, you have me helping you, and I'm pretty much the best tutor ever." He said with a smile and slight chuckle.

I laughed too, making my anxiousness subside a bit.

"Um, Lily? Why don't you have a seat?"

"Oh. Yeah." I sat down on the bench across from him.

"So, how are you on this fine morning?"

"Good, I suppose. Actually, there's something I've been meaning to ask you…" Oh-God-oh-God-oh-God. Here it was.

"Yes…"

"Well, James, you and I--what I mean to say is, I've changed my--um, I mean--"

"Lily, what is it?" He asked with concern.

I took a deep breath and began again.

"James. You and I have been friends for a while now, and things, well, they've changed for me. I've been meaning to talk to you about-"

But I was interrupted by a tall, blonde girl sitting herself on James' lap suddenly, and making out with him right then and there. I watched with horror as she disgustingly stuck her tongue down his throat, for what seemed like hours, until she finally let him up for air. Apparently, luck was not on my side today, as I had thought previously.

"Oh, yeah, Lils. This is my girlfriend Jas."

"Oh. When did-did this happen."

"Jamie-Poo asked me out last night. He's so sweet, right?" Jas cooed.

_Jamie-Poo?_ What the hell kind of nickname was that?

"Oh."

I stared down at my still empty plate trying not to blink, so my building tears wouldn't find the chance to spill over. James and Jas were making cutesy little noises and occasionally kissing. As a result, they didn't notice my heart breaking a few meters away from them. I continued to stare downward until I heard Sirius sit down next to me. I didn't dare look at James; I was still in danger of some serious sobbing.

"'Ello, all. How's everyone's morning so far?"

"Sirius, shouldn't you still be asleep?" James asked in a confused tone.

"Yes, but I decided to give everyone a bit of a shock. You know, always keep them guessing. Plus, Peter's snoring was intolerable today."

"Oh yeah, Lils, you were saying something before. Something about things changing for you?" James inquired.

"Er, yes. I-I was going to say that--" Then an idea hit me. Albeit, a very bad idea, but an idea in any case. "Sirius and I are a couple as of last night." I glanced at Sirius, who dropped his fork which he was using to shovel food into his mouth. Good thing it was too full for him to speak at that moment.

"Aw! Isn't that so cute! Jamie, they're just like us!" Jas giggled.

"What? Are you off your rocker Lily? We-" Sirius started after he gulped his food down, but I cut him off.

"I know Sirius. We agreed to keep this secret, but I couldn't help myself." I tried to give him a meaningful look.

"Lily-"

"Sirius, may I talk with you somewhere private? Please?" I still hadn't looked at James to see his face. He was silent the entire time, so I hoped that was a good sign.

We hurried out of the Great Hall. I could feel Sirius' irritation and confusion emanating from right behind me. He spoke as soon as we were alone. No, that's wrong; he didn't just speak, he seethed.

"Lily, I don't know what you're on about, but you'd better explain right now."

"Please Sirius. Just go along with it for me. Please?"

"Not until I know what's going on."

"Please Sirius-"

"Lily, I swear, I will go right back in there and tell Prongs that you're lying."

"Fine! I'm in love with James."

"Huh? James as in James _Potter_? My best mate James? _That_ James?"

"Yes, yes. James Potter." I admitted in defeat.

"Wow," he said. He seemed speechless, something I had never had the pleasure of seeing before. "Do you realize how long he's been waiting for this? Go and tell him!"

"I can't! He's got that slag Jas now! I was in the middle of telling him, when she sauntered up and choked him with her tongue."

"Ah, I see. But, why did you tell him that we're together?"

"Because I panicked and you were the first to sit down. If Remus beat you down here, I would have said it was him."

"What about Peter?" Sirius inquired with a slight smirk.

I sighed and looked away. "Honestly, and I know it sounds horrible, but I think I might have thought of something else to say."

"Lily!" He said in mock horror. "Peter is a very handsome fellow."

"Shut up. He's nice but I'm sure James wouldn't have believed me."

"I know, I know. I'm just joking, love. So, now you and I are a couple?"

"Unfortunately." I replied.

"Hey! That's not very nice, you know."

"Yes, I know. Sorry. It's just I've spent so much time working up the courage to say something to him, and the day that I finally start to take action, he randomly has a girlfriend. What are the chances of that happening?"

"Lily, calm down. At least you get to date me." Sirius responded with a smile. "Or pretend date me, rather. I'm really fun, I promise."

I had to grin at that.

"I know Sirius. So, are you ready to go back and face him?"

"Yes, let's do this! This might actually be fun! Er, do I have to hold your hand?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Yuck."

"Shut up, you jerk! Now, _that's_ not very nice." I said laughingly.

We walked through the doors to the Great Hall, hand-in-hand, ready to face the reaction that was to come, not just from James but from everyone. With any luck, James would get so jealous, he'd toss that little chippy off of his lap and snog me senseless. One could only hope.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: ** Here's my second chapter! I really hope you are enjoying my story. Thanks for reading and, if you would be so kind as to leave me a review, that would make me exceedingly happy! :)

**Disclaimer:** Nothing's mine. That honor would go to J.K. Rowling. The title is the name of one of my favorite songs by The Spill Canvas.

**Chapter 2: All Hail the Heartbreaker**

He didn't toss Jas off his lap and passionately kiss me, as I had hoped. Not that I _really_ expected him to. But still. It would have been nice.

James did, however, stare at our clasped hands in what looked like hurt shock. Good. He should be hurt considering my own feelings at that moment.

Yes, yes I knew I shouldn't have been so vindictive, because it wasn't like he knew that he completely shattered my heart or anything. I was just filled with so much hurt that I didn't care about hurting him in return. I knew that it was crazy, but I actually wanted to hurt him. Emotionally hurt him, that is. At least then I would know for certain that he still felt something for me.

"So you two, you're a couple?" James asked as we sat down. He appeared to be containing his anger (or something like it, I wasn't sure; he was being very unreadable) and wouldn't look at Sirius at all. That had to be a good sign.

"Yes we are," I was quick to answer.

"And how did that happen?"

"Well, I don't know, really. First, Sirius and I were just talking and next thing you know, we were having a rather heated make out session. Just evolved from there, I guess."

Wow, I could be such a bitch sometimes, right? (Not that I was proud of that.)

"Huh."

"That is just so adorable!" Jas said obliviously.

"So, Jas, why don't you tell me how you and James got together? I'd love to hear it."

"Oh! Okay, well, first I saw him in the library. I know what you're thinking: James Potter goes to the library. Weird, right? Anyway, I was carrying too many books, I guess, and he helped me carry them. After that, we just talked and talked and talked. And eventually, we realized that it was past curfew. Then, we found ourselves a broom closet, to, well, you know. And then we-"

Blimey, I swear that girl talked until my ears bled, so, I tried to tune her out. What the hell could they possibly have "talked and talked and talked" about? To put it nicely, Jas didn't seem like the type that had many new ideas going through her head, so this thoroughly confused me.

When her mouth stopped moving, I assumed it was appropriate for me to talk again. "Huh. I must say you got yourself quite a catch there James."

"Thanks, Lils."

"No problem."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sirius sat beside me in Charms to keep up with appearances. That's when the guilt for my vindictiveness earlier began to make its presence known. Remembering the pain in James' eyes was killing me. Up until that point, I had never felt so much at the same time. I was in agony at seeing Jas and James together. I was in anguish at hurting him like I did. I was just miserable in general.

With all these things piled onto me a sinking depression started to swallow me from somewhere deep inside of my chest. I didn't hear a word that was said throughout the entire lesson, except for the occasional whisper from my new "boyfriend," asking if I was okay.

I could see how other females swooned over Sirius Black. He had dark hair that swung gracefully into his eyes. His eyes: that was another thing the girls of Hogwarts loved about him. They were a mysterious grey that seemed to penetrate right into your thoughts. He was definitely very attractive, just not what I went for.

"Cheer up, love."

"I'm fine, Sirius." I sighed. It was about the eighth time he said that, or some variation of it.

"Oh, please, Evans. You can't fool me. Don't worry; it'll be alright. Everything will work out."

I didn't say anything.

"Evans."

"Yes, yes I heard you. I'm just wallowing at the moment."

"Alright," Sirius started with a slight grin. "But I will only allow this self pity last until the end of class. Then it's 'Cheer Up, Lilykins Time', got it?"

"Don't call me that." He had me smiling a bit then. How did he always do that?

"Ah, there it is. There's that tiny smile right there." He touched his finger to the corner of my mouth and I swatted it away.

"Shut up, you prick."

Right after my little exchange with Sirius, I happened to look over at James. I say "happened" when, in reality, it was an uncontrollable habit I had had for a while. I just couldn't help myself. I mean, it wasn't like a creepy kind of habit. I didn't stare him down throughout the entire class or anything. Just a fleeting look from time to time.

James was nice to look at with his dark, chaotic hair that he would occasionally ruffle. He had hazel eyes that could range from looking mischievous to looking gentle. Plus, he had an amazing body, all thanks to rigorous and extensive Quidditch practices.

Anyway, when I glanced at him, my stomach did a flip floppy sort of thing (more so than usual), because he was staring right back at me with a peculiar expression on his face. I, of course, quickly looked back at Flitwick, but my stomach stayed in knots the entire time. He must have seen the little exchange between Sirius and me. I tried to dissect the expression that he had on for the rest of class, but I couldn't figure it out.

He seemed to be either surprised or in disbelief. Or it could possibly have been a mixture of the two. That had me in a panic; maybe he didn't believe Sirius and me?

Brash action had to be taken immediately if that was the case.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After classes were over for the day, Sirius started his "Cheer Up, Lilykins Time" event. No lie. I truly thought he was kidding, but apparently I was wrong. He was a very difficult person to understand; you never knew when he was joking.

He led me to the Room of Requirement. Sirius changed it so it was a medium sized room overly decorated with streamers and balloons that were mostly pink. The shock of it all hit me as soon as I walked in. The tables were covered in confetti, and one that had a three tier cake sitting on it. To be quite honest, it looked like something a three-year-old girl would enjoy. Where did he even get the idea that this would cheer me up?

I stared around the room miserably. "Do we really have to do this?"

"Yes, we do. It's for your health. Wallowing will get you nowhere, or haven't you heard?"

"'Blah blah blah' is all I'm hearing from you right now."

"Aren't you a cheeky little one?" He smirked. "Well, fine then. What should we do instead?"

I shrugged with uncertainty. "I don't know…plan, I guess?"

"Okay. Wait. What are we planning exactly?"

"Erm, the whole reason we're 'dating'." I made quotation marks with my hands. Why? I had no idea. I hated people who did that. "We need to make us more convincing as a couple, and make sure we do it in front of James."

"Alrighty. Do you have any suggestions?"

"Well…I was wondering if, er, you wouldn't object too much to a bit of kissing. Not snogging or anything; just a few pecks, you know? I don't think I could snog you. Just the thought of it turns my stomach, to be honest."

Sirius gave me a very offended look then. At least, I thought he was genuinely offended. Again, I could never tell.

"What are you trying to say Evans? I'll have you know I'm a jolly good kisser." He turned his back on me and exhaled angrily.

Yes, he was really offended. I guessed that was going too far.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. Really, I am. Obviously, I know that you're an expert when it comes to all things of that sort; thus, one of the reason's you're so sought after by Hogwarts' female population. What I meant was that I only see you as a brother, considering I'm completely in love with your best mate. I apologize for what I said."

He didn't turn around.

"Sirius. Please. I'm sorry."

Still no movement. Wonderful.

"Sirius. I'm really, really sorry. I wasn't thinking when I said it. Please say something."

That's when I saw his shoulders shaking, and he turned around to show that he was chuckling.

"Oh! You! You wanker!"

He was all laughter. "Sorry, love, it was too easy."

"Are you ever serious?"

"Not if I can avoid it. I find that life's more fun that way. See, this just shows that you, my dear, have to lighten up a bit."

"Yes, yes. I know this already. Now, back to what I was saying. Do you mind a bit of kissing?"

"No, of course not. In fact, I'd be honored to." Sirius delivered this line with a bow.

"Why, thank you. You're still a wanker, though."

"I know." He said easily.


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Finally you'll see more of James in this chapter. The downside is that it's kind of boring. I don't know, when I was writing it, there was something about it that I didn't like. I must have changed it like 20 times. So anywho, enjoy and don't forget to review please!

**Disclaimer:** Nope, sorry, I'm not Ms. Rowling, so, therefore, none of this belongs to me. The title is another The Spill Canvas. I swear, by the end most of my titles will be from them hahaha!

**Chapter 3:** **Staplegunned**

Our plan was ready and set for action by the next night. It wasn't anything terribly complicated; Sirius and I just planned to act like a real couple. The only snag we hit was finding a way to be in the same room as James that wasn't considered a classroom. He would always somehow inexplicably be nonexistent whenever my co-conspirator and I were in the same room together. It was during dinner that I started to worry.

Neither James nor Jas were present throughout the entire meal. There was no question in my mind about what they were up to together. This vexed me to no end for obvious reasons. The thought of her with her hands and lips on him just made me want to cry.

Dear Merlin! She was such a tramp!

I sulked throughout the entirety of dinner, sighing whenever I thought about those two, which was often. It was like I was having my own sighing fest.

"What's wrong Lily? You look dismal tonight." Remus observed.

Remus Lupin was an attractive boy with his sandy colored hair. He did have a habit of looking a bit tired and worn out, but it worked for him. He definitely could have had any girl he wanted if he wasn't so private. But I guess I could understand why he cut himself off from some people. He, being a werewolf, didn't want a serious relationship with any girl. I had found that out last year, after I had become friends with the Marauders.

It was so cute when he told me, because I could tell he was really nervous to let me in on the secret of, not only his condition, but about the other three Marauders' statuses as illegal Animagi, as well. After he finished conveying the whole story, he stated that he would understand if I no longer wanted to be around him. I felt my heart break for him, given that he thought I'd stop being his friend just because he was a werewolf. So, to let him know that I didn't care, I hugged him, and we became even closer afterwards.

"She's in love with Prongs but he's got Jas held up in a broom closet at the moment, undoubtedly. Hence, Mopey Lily in our presence." Sirius informed him, confirming my fears, while piling food into his open mouth. How he ever accomplished to speak while doing this, I could never figure out.

"What?" Remus choked on the pumpkin juice he was downing, when Sirius chose to use his gigantic mouth to let loose my biggest secret. "But I heard that you two were together!"

"Bloody hell, Sirius!" I hissed, ignoring Remus. "Have you ever heard of discretion? I said that in confidence! You're not supposed to go leaking that kind of thing out to everyone."

"Oh, calm down, Lil. I didn't tell everyone; just Moony. It's not like he's going to go blabbing to Prongs."

"Yes, Lily, he's right. You know you can trust me." Remus promised. "I don't even know why you thought you had to hide it from me in the first place. Now tell me what happened. Why did you tell Sirius of all people?"

"It's not that I thought I couldn't trust you, Remus. I wasn't even planning on telling anyone. I panicked when I saw James with his skeezy girlfriend. It kind of popped out of my mouth."

"It's a good thing that this happened. Besides," Sirius piped up. "Moony here may be able to help us, seeing as how at the moment James is avoiding me."

"What? He's been avoiding you? Blimey. I'm so sorry. This is my entire fault."

"Don't worry about it; I want to help. And I'm not doing this just for you, you know. Good ol' Prongsy has been pining over you for ages now, and I know he's still not over you no matter what he says. All he really needs is a little push."

"Aw, that's so sweet of you." I said, sincerely.

"Plus, I believe me and Jas could have a chance, don't you think?"

"Ew." I wrinkled my nose. "Frankly, I don't see what's so attractive about her. Sure, she's pretty, but she's a downright harlot, if you ask me. Oh, and she's vapid."

"Just my type," He smiled. "Besides, you're speaking with a bias, and obviously some spite, so no one is asking you."

"He's right Lil. Actually, you should get to know her. She's not that bad. I just don't think she's Prongs' kind of girl. I believe he'd be better off with someone that has more, er, intelligence. Like you, for example. You and James are a good match, I think."

"Good lord, Moony. That sounded almost like something a girl would say." Sirius remarked.

Remus glared at his friend. "Shut up, Padfoot. I'm trying to be helpful."

"And you're doing fantastically." I cut in before Sirius could have another word in that would have led to an endless argument. "Thank you. I only wish I had had the courage to tell James before this whole mess even began."

The rest of dinner was spent sans James. That's when I decided if my plot didn't work, then I would use my amazing Charms abilities to do some serious hexing. Okay, maybe I wouldn't really have cursed anyone since that would have involved breaking a ton of school rules, but I would've seriously considered it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Finally, James walked into the Common Room later that night where we were all sitting together after dinner was over. Thankfully, he was without the little chippy because she was in Hufflepuff, and consequently, not allowed into the Gryffindor Common Room. See, this is why I loved school rules.

His hair looked more ruffled than before, indicating that Sirius was right about his previous absence. Splendid. That was exactly the kind of confidence boost I needed right about then.

Sirius and I were on one of the couches, and he had his arm around my shoulders. His fingers were lacing and unlacing with mine for dramatic effect. James sauntered over and only gave us a brief look before sitting down not too far away. While Sirius and I began our little planned out conversation, Remus offered to play a game of chess with James.

"So, love, how was your day?"

"Boring. How about yours?"

"Same." He paused. "But I know something that would help me get rid of my boredom right about now."

A slow smile started to spread across my face. I hoped that it looked real. "And what's that?"

"Oh, I think you know."

Then we kissed. It wasn't a very long kiss, only lasting four or five seconds (and I made Sirius promise that it would be closed mouthed), but we made it seem slow and passionate, all the same. I made sure to smile right after our lips parted; again, hoping it looked convincing.

"Mmm. That was nice."

"Of course it was. _I_ was the one that kissed you."

"You know, you are an extremely arrogant individual." I said, with a little laugh.

"Yes. I know." His statement was followed by another small kiss.

"Prongs. Hey, Prongs. _James_." Remus' voice sounded.

"_What_?" James answered, annoyed.

"It's your turn…hey, are you all right? You're looking a bit stricken."

I glanced over at the two playing chess and saw that James was looking a little weary, complete with a furrowed brow. He wasn't looking my way, but he was, instead, staring down at the board. His entire body was completely still, and his hands were rolled into fists.

Seeing James like that made me feel guilty. I mean, it was obvious that he really _wasn't_ over me yet, making me feel hopeful. But then I remembered what he was doing during dinner, and felt a tad less shameful.

Merlin, why was I so harsh all the time? Oh, yeah. My heart was broken.

"Shit." I muttered.

"What is it?"

"Patrol time for me and James."

"Oh, alright. Have fun." Sirius said, giving me one last peck.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So, I take it things are going well for you and Sirius?" James asked after five long minutes of walking in silence.

"Yes, it's been pretty good between us."

"Hm."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What?"

"That 'hm' sounded awfully loaded for a regular 'hm'."

"Nothing, nothing at all. I was just, you know, hm-ing."

"Uh-huh. So how about you and Jas?"

"We're good. You know."

"Hm." I replied with a smirk.

"Are you mocking me, Lils?" James was the only one that called me Lils, and I liked it that way.

"Maybe…"

"That's not very becoming of you." He joked, and then turned abruptly serious. "Can I make an observation?"

"I suppose."

"You and Sirius…well, to me, it doesn't seem like you two…click."

"What do you mean?"

"Erm, you're not really his type. The girls he usually goes for are more…experienced." I could tell he was tensing, waiting for my reaction. Given our arguments we had had in the past, I didn't blame him. I used to completely blow up over the smallest things. Poor, James.

"I know," I stated. "Can I make an observation now?"

"Alright."

"Jas doesn't seem like your type either. I guess I'd always seen you with the more intellectual kind of girl." A more intellectual kind of girl like me…

"Jas is kind of smart." James defended.

"I'm sure she is, and I'm sorry James, no offense, but that girl tends to talk until my eyes cross."

He smiled. "Yes. She can get a little over talkative. But there are ways to fix that."

I was grinning with him up until I realized what he meant. "Oh."

Then silence fell upon us again. It was the awkward kind, too.

"So…" he started again."Can I ask you a personal question?"

"You can, but I might not answer."

"Do you really fancy him?" James asked, intensely. I could tell he was hiding some emotion from me, but I couldn't tell what it was.

I hesitated; lying never was my strong suit. "Yes."

"Come on, Lily!" He blew up. Apparently, the emotion he was hiding was anger. "What are you playing at? Three days ago, you would have never even considered Sirius that way!"

"Really? And how do you know that?"

"Because I know you, Lils! I know that you don't like him any more than just a friend." We were standing in the middle of the corridor. James was staring me down with a fierce expression on his face, and I was matching his expression right back at him.

"And I know you! You can't be even remotely interested in that vacuous girlfriend of yours!"

"What interest do you have in who I date? Why should you give a damn?"

Because I love you.

I didn't say it aloud but it was right there on the end of my tongue, ready to break free. I deliberated with myself to just let it go. I mean, it was obvious that he still loved me, so what was holding me back? Why didn't I just tell him? Maybe then this whole mess would be resolved. Maybe he would break up with Jas to be with me. But I remained silent.

What was wrong with me?

I was so preoccupied trying to hold my tongue that I hadn't noticed that James had taken a few steps towards me. By the time I realized this, he was so close I could feel the heat radiating off of his body.

Whoa. Where did this come from? He had been screaming at me a few seconds before, and then, suddenly, he was so close I could smell the amazing scent that only he possessed; his natural James smell.

I slowly gazed up into his hazel eyes. They were warm and gentle, and the look I saw there was unmistakable. I could tell what was coming next: I would finally kiss James Potter.

I swallowed loudly and closed my eyes slowly. It felt like my heart was trying to jump out of my chest and it had become so hard to breathe, but in a good way. The only thing I was aware of was James, his close proximity, and how he kept getting closer.

I could sense it. I could feel his mouth coming closer to mine. In just a few seconds, I would have been kissing him and I would have been feeling how soft his lips really were. Everything would be right in the world.

But I didn't have any luck whatsoever, so it never came to that. What happened instead was the worst thing that could at that moment.

"James?" A familiar voice stage whispered from somewhere in the dark. The voice was the last one I wanted to hear at that moment. Or ever, really. "Jamie, where are you? I can't see a thing."


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Whoot! Chapter 4 is out! I hope you enjoy, and I would feel very appreciative if you would leave a review for me please!

**Disclaimer:** It all goes to J.K. Rowling, except for my title. That one goes to one of my all time favorite bands, Silverstein.

**Chapter 4: Still Dreaming**

Merlin, did that girl have a sixth sense or something? She always seemed to know the perfect time to show up and ruin everything for me.

"I'm right here, Jas." James' voice was husky when he spoke. She strolled into view, and I saw that she had rolled her skirt up into an impossibly short length. Merlin, could she get any sluttier? "What are you doing out after curfew?"

"I was bored so I wanted to see if you wanted to…oh. Hello, Lily." She seemed disappointed to see me. Not as disappointed as I was to see her though.

"Hey…er, James I think we're done with patrols…you and-and Jas can do…whatever." I just wanted to run as far away as I could before I started crying. "Goodnight."

"Wait, Lils."

But I was already quickly retreating down the shadowy corridor, ignoring him as I went. I had felt so stupid! Maybe I had just imagined it all. Maybe he really wasn't going to kiss me. Why didn't he just kiss me? Better yet, why didn't _I_ just kiss _him_?

I felt so pathetic. I couldn't possibly compete with Jas. As far as looks go, she was definitely prettier with her perfectly straight blonde hair and flawless features. Her eyes were a crystal blue and she always had her makeup expertly done. Jas was so pretty she looked like a model.

And me? I had hideous red hair that clashed with just about everything I wore. And freckles! I was one of the unfortunate with a heap of freckles all over my face. Not that anything was wrong with freckles; it was just overdone on my face. My eyes were a bright green that contrasted with my unsightly red hair.

And unlike me, Jas was obviously more experienced. I had never really done anything more than kiss a guy (not including Sirius earlier that night; there were other guys I had kissed over the years). She was probably more laid back than me, too. I was forever a tightly wound stress ball, always worrying about something. Sirius even pointed out my need to loosen up.

Besides, it seemed obvious that she just wouldn't let me win. I felt hopeless.

I raced back to the Common Room with my thoughts racing even faster. We were so close! I could feel it! How would I face him after that? It would be ten times as awkward because he thought that his best mate and I were together. James would feel that he had somehow betrayed Sirius even in almost kissing me. It was obvious that my plan had backfired.

When I walked through the portrait hole, my two cohorts in this awful scheme were waiting impatiently to hear what happened. They were the only ones left in the room, thankfully, due to the late hour.

"So, so, so! What happened?"Sirius was practically peeing himself with excitement. That was weird because he was usually so cool and collected. He must have been really excited.

Too bad the next word out of my mouth was going to disappoint him.

"Nothing."

"What do you mean nothing?" Remus looked frustrated. "Did you not do anything?"

"No, we did talk and he was going to kiss me…"

"And?" They both asked simultaneously.

"Then Jas showed up."

Sirius had an outraged look on his face. "What? What the hell was she doing out passed curfew?"

"I don't know!" I cried out when I flopped down onto the sofa. "She just appeared there and ruined everything in her goddamned-ultra-mini-slut skirt! God! I hate her!"

"I reckon you have some bad luck, love."

"Yeah, me too." Now I really wanted to cry.

"Well, better luck next time, then." Remus was always the optimist.

I laughed once without humor. "There won't be a next time."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm done. Finished. I can't take anymore of this pain. It kills me. Every time I try and fail with him, it feels like crack inside of me rips open. I can't deal with this anymore!"

They both looked angry with me then. Sirius was the first to speak. "Lily, I can't believe you. Do you realize how many times Prongs went through the same exact thing every time you rejected him? He used to be so miserable all the time because of you."

"Great, make me feel better."

"Lily! Will you shut the fuck up and listen to me? Don't give me any of your sarcasm bullshit right now! I'm trying to help you. James used to suffer because of you, and I used to hate to see how much you hurt him."

"If you're so concerned with him getting hurt then why are you helping me? Why did you agree to kiss me before?" I retorted.

"Because Prongs is a complete dolt and needs some motivation. Obviously we still need to work on that. He had you there, was about to kiss you, which is something he's waited to do since about third year, and he completely screws it all up. And on that note, why didn't you just kiss him? You said he was about to kiss you, right?"

Huh. Good question. I shifted uncomfortably. "I just…I don't know. It was a lot to handle at that moment and I panicked!"

"You seem to do that often these days."

I just gave him a cynical look. "But, in the long run, what if I can't make him happy? I mean, look at us! We're not even together and already there's so much heartbreak! And if it ended badly, our friendship would be ruined. Then he wouldn't even be in my life at all."

This time Remus spoke up, which was nicer, because I was getting tired of being screamed at.

"Lily, Prongs loves you. Friendship isn't enough for him. Or for you, obviously. He wants so much more than to just be your friend. It's so obvious whenever he looks at you. Don't you ever see it?"

"No, I don't." That surprised me. I honestly had never noticed before.

"Well, he does. He looks at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. You love him, right?"

"Of course. Of course, I do." Tears began to form in my eyes. I needed to stop doing this crying thing so much. It was kind of embarrassing.

"Then don't you fucking dare give up." I blinked at him. Remus never cursed. Ever.

It was silent for a moment while I took everything in, then I sat up straighter. "Okay. Okay, fine. I won't give up. I'll try harder."

I had hoped I would never have to go through an intervention from those two ever again, because that was brutal.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I lay in bed that night pondering about my shitty day; I had gotten yelled at quite a bit. First from James, then, Sirius and Remus. Well, Remus didn't really yell. That wasn't really his style. He simply exuded an air of extreme disappointment. This, come to think of it, was a lot worse than getting screamed at; more effective too.

As the noiseless hours passed, I wondered about how I was going to face James the following day. I could have avoided him in the morning and throughout most of the day, but I would have to see him for patrols in the evening. Damn.

No. No, I would force myself to confront him in the morning. I would talk to him about what happened, or almost happened, rather. I _had_ to get this settled with him. I had started to get a worried sort of feeling down in the pit of my stomach, which grew the more I thought about talking to James the next day, and, in result, I'd had quite a restless night.

The next morning, I woke up before the sun had risen, and I was too keyed up to fall back to sleep. I got ready slowly, meticulously brushing my teeth and curling my hair with my wand three times before I deemed it acceptable enough to leave. When I stepped out into the Common Room, butterflies seemed to have exploded in my stomach. Wonderful. I just loved when they did that.

I took a long route to breakfast, so I didn't get there too terribly early and run into James before I calmed myself down properly. No such luck, of course, I arrived within five minutes. Why was that? Why did I suddenly have the worst luck ever?

I sat down apprehensively across from him, with my heart dancing loudly inside of my chest. I could feel the blush starting to warm my cheeks when he didn't look up immediately.

"Hey, James." My mouth was dry.

He glanced up but swiftly looked back at the table when he met my gaze. His cheeks seemed to grow a little pink as well. That made things easier. But only a little.

"Hey, Lils."

"Um. Did-did you sleep well? Last night?"

"Relatively, I suppose." He was still avoiding eye contact.

"That's good."

"Yes. And yourself? How did you sleep?"

"Truthfully? I was a bit restless." I tried to tell myself to breathe; in and out, in and out.

"That's unfortunate."

"Yes. Yes it is." God, this awkward conversation was killing me. I had to try to steer the conversation towards our almost kiss. A very blunt approach, I decided, was the best for the occasion. "So, er, about last night, during patrols…"

"Yes…" He looked up, poorly concealing his hopeful expression.

I paused, scanning the room for signs of Jas. "Actually, do you mind if we could, er, talk somewhere else? Some place more…private?" Some place where Jas couldn't interrupt for the millionth time.

"Er, yes. Yes that would be, uh, that would be fine. How's the Astronomy Tower?"

"Perfect."

We walked out of the Great Hall and up to the Astronomy Tower. The trip was silent and the atmosphere between us was still feeling awkward.

When we reached the top of the tower, it was very cold, but not in an unpleasant way. It was the refreshing sort that came with early autumn. The tower had a beautiful view. The sun was just rising and was casting the lands in an orange-pink glow. I had always thought that mornings were worth getting up for just to watch the sun rise.

I took a deep breath as I turned to James, but no words came out when my eyes locked with his. Instead, something bolder and more daring than just words had happened; I kissed him.

I didn't know what came over me. I just looked at him with the early sunlight spilling on his face and just went for it. I finally acted on my impulse to kiss him that I had previously restrained so many times before.

He responded instantly by kissing me back as fervently as I was kissing him. His hands slowly glided up my arms, making me shiver in delight. One hand then twisted into my hair and the other traveled down to the small of my back. My arms locked around his neck, and I instinctively pulled him closer to me.

His mouth was so soft against mine. He expertly kissed me in exactly the right way, making me wish it would never end. It was much better than I had ever imagined it to be, and I had imagined it a lot. And I mean a lot. It was easily the most breathtaking kiss I had ever experienced. I reminded myself not to mention that tidbit to Sirius in fear of wounding his ego.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"It was the most breathtaking kiss I have ever experienced." So much for not offending Sirius. Good thing was that he didn't seem too upset. He was just happy I had finally worked up the courage to kiss James.

"It's about time! I'm so proud of my little Lily Bean!"

"Sirius, please do not call me that." But the demand was ruined by the smile that had remained on my face since James and I departed for class. He had left me with a small peck after an hour and a half of snogging. It. Was. Amazing.

Remus, Sirius, and I were sitting in an abandoned classroom, while ditching lunch. I'd had to assure Sirius that the news was really important when I pried him and Remus away from the table. He grumbled the whole way up to the classroom until I told them about my morning's adventure in the Astronomy Tower.

"Lily, I'm so glad for you. So have you two figured out where you stand? Relationship wise, I mean."

I hesitated after Remus' question. "Um, well we didn't really talk very much, as you can imagine."

"Understandably." Sirius chirped happily, with a smile.

"Yes, well, I expect that right now we don't have much of an official relationship. You know, with him having a girlfriend and me having a "boyfriend." I don't know about how easy it will be for him to break up with Jas. My own breakup, however, shouldn't be too difficult."

"What?" Sirius cried. "You're-you're breaking up with me?"

"Dear Lord, Sirius. Stop that!" I laughed at the sulky look he was giving me.

"So, you're not going to tell Prongs about this whole act you and Padfoot put on?"

"No." Remus started to give me a reproachful look. "I will eventually, of course. Just not yet."

"Okay, but you had better tell him sooner rather than later."

I took Remus' warning in full consideration. I knew that I would have to tell James somewhere down the line. I just hoped that was far off in the distant future. The really distant future.


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** So, here's chapter 5. It was kind of tricky for me to write the end of this one. Well, I hope you like it. I would love to hear—or read, rather—what you thought about it. Thanks for reading! :)

**Disclaimer:** You see? What did I tell you? I used another Spill Canvas song for my title. That's what, like 3 chapters now? Oh, well. They're amazing. The rest belongs to J.K. Rowling, of course.

**Chapter 5: Catching Sparks**

"Stop. Wait, Lils." James whispered.

"What is it?"

"Padfoot."

I looked around in alarm at the dark corridor we were supposed to be patrolling, but saw no one, least of all Sirius. "Supposed to be patrolling" being the operative phrase in that sentence. In reality, James and I were in the middle of a very enjoyable make out session when he suddenly stopped.

"Where? I don't see anybody," I whispered back.

"No. I didn't mean he's here now. I was just thinking about him…and you."

"Oh, James. I've told you already. Sirius and I broke up and everything is fine. I even told him about us kissing in the Astronomy Tower, but he said there are no hard feelings. I promise." Gah! If he only knew the truth. But I hadn't gotten around to telling him yet. I was going to, like I promised Remus. Eventually.

"Yes, I know what you said, but I just have to talk to him first. I need to actually see his face to make sure he's not hiding anything. I don't want to upset him, and I'll know if he's lying about it since he's my best mate and all."

I had to smile at that because his loyalty towards his friends was one of my favorite traits about him. I had to relent after hearing that.

"Okay, okay. So…we can't kiss at all until you talk with him?" I gave him an exaggerated sad expression.

"Well, no. I think it's best that we don't. I also don't want to hurt Jas' feelings."

I sighed. "How long?"

"I was thinking a month."

My mouth flew open at the insanity of that statement. "A month? That's going a little overboard, don't you think?"

"No, it's not." He said defiantly.

"So, you're not going to kiss me at all or anything? We have to pretend to be just friends for an entire month?"

James paused, thinking about my question. "I guess we can be secretive about it for a little."

I began to play with the collar of his shirt in a flirty way. "I hope you realize that it's going to be hard. I've wanted this for a really long time now. You know, me and you."

He laughed at that. "No. _I've_ wanted to be with you for a really long time now. I believe I win that contest."

"Yes, yes. I guess you do, but I really have been waiting a while, as well."

"Why is that, by the way? Why did you wait forever to finally tell me?"

I looked at him dubiously. "Because, James. Once we became friends, you stopped showing any interest in me at all. I was afraid that you had given up on me."

"Ah, I see. Let me explain that, then. I suppose, I matured and saw how ineffective chasing you around was, so I took a different approach. Obviously it worked, deeming me…a genius." He smirked.

I let out a laugh at his playful arrogance. "Well then, I guess that does make you a genius."

I pushed him good-humoredly, and then he stepped back towards me closer than before. He started to bend his head down to kiss me, but put his forehead on mine instead.

He heaved a sigh. "Not yet."

"What if I made you kiss me?"

"And how would you go about doing that?"

"I could look pouty for you." My lower lip jutted out.

He looked at me with a meticulous gaze, and ended up shaking his head. "Nope. Not going to work. You would need to be more convincing."

"Hmm. How about smoldering?" I looked at him from under my eyelashes with a coy smile spreading onto my face.

It took him longer to reply that time, and when he did, I detected a hint of strain in his voice. "No. Nope. It has to be more than that."

"Fine. I'll pull out all the stops this time. How about tempting?"

I had the same expression on as my smoldering look, but placed my hands onto his chest to gently push him back against the wall. I slowly moved my lips towards his, hesitating when I was a few centimeters away. Then I quickly pulled away to begin my walk down the corridor, enjoying the shocked look on his face.

"You're right," I said, mockingly. "We should wait. It's getting pretty late anyway. Let's go back to the dorms."

"Oh, no you don't." He pulled me back and began kissing me. Victory was mine.

I pulled away after a few moments. "Now, James. You're the one who wanted to wait. I was simply respecting your wishes."

"Ha, ha. Very funny, Lils. Don't do that to me, then."

"Oh, alright. But it was fun." I smiled.

"Yes, let's tease poor old James. Good idea." But I gathered from the way he was kissing me after that last statement that he didn't seem to mind too much.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Good evening, Pete!" I greeted when I sat down for dinner in the Great Hall. "Where's everyone else?"

"Moony is in the library tutoring a few people, and Padfoot and Prongs are in detention. Who would have thought that the Head Boy still gets detention?"

"Yeah, only James could accomplish that," I said with a giggle.

"You seem really chipper today." I guessed he didn't know about James and me yet. "Oh, yeah! Never mind. It's because of you and James, right?"

Apparently, I had guessed wrong.

"How did you hear about that?" I whispered. James and I still had had another week and three days left of being secretive about our relationship. Not that I was counting, or anything.

"Ever since he got the official okay from Padfoot, James doesn't ever shut up about it. We had to put a silencing charm on him the other night." He hesitated then. "How come I didn't know about it before? You told Padfoot and Moony."

He was giving me the guilt trip, and to be honest, I deserved it. Peter, like the other three Marauder boys, was a really good friend of mine. He was a genuinely great guy, too. Though not as good looking as say James or Sirius, I still wouldn't have considered him ugly. He kind of resembled a mouse, but in a cute way. Peter was also really nice, and I noticed that he would always listen when someone had a problem.

"I know, Pete. I'm sorry. They weren't even supposed to know. I accidently let it slip to Sirius because I was so flustered, and then I told Remus—well, _Sirius_ told Remus—about how I felt about James. After that, they both decided to help me."

He looked confused. "Wait. I thought you and Sirius were together before you were with James. Why would he tell Remus that you fancied James when he was still dating you? And what were they helping you with?"

Uh-oh. How could I have let that slip? "O-oh. I was talking about after James and-and I kissed."

"No," Peter narrowed his eyes and shook his head slowly. "You're lying, aren't you?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on, Lily. Everybody knows you stutter when you lie. Tell me what really happened."

Damn. Was I really that transparent? I sighed heavily. "I swear if you say _anything_ I will hex you into oblivion."

He stared at me for a couple of minutes. "Well, get on with it! Tell me!"

"No! At least, not here. I'll tell you later."

"Promise?"

"Yes, yes. I promise."

"Okay, I'll hold you to it, then."

What I hadn't known at that time was that a very heartbroken Hufflepuff girl was listening in to our conversation. And since James had broken up with her, Jas had changed from that ditzy girl to an extremely vindictive one with a single victim in mind: me. And at that moment, when she had overheard Peter and me, she had begun planning something elaborate to ruin things for me once again. Merlin, if I had only known.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Peter listened to my whole whispered tale when we had gotten back to the common room. He was very absorbed in my tale, and concentrated on it intently.

"And that's it," I shrugged when I had reached the end of the tale.

"So, are you going to tell James? He'll be angrier the longer you wait to tell him."

"Yes, yes. I know," I sighed. "But I'm so nervous. He's going to be pissed either way. I don't want to know his reaction; it scares me. I don't want to lose him." I looked down as my cheeks began to warm. I had never liked being _that_ honest.

"That's what I'm saying though, you should tell him really soon so he won't be as mad," Peter urged.

"Ugh. I know. I've been such a coward lately." I paused then, thinking. "When it comes to James, my feelings go haywire. I feel so many emotions at the same time. It makes things more complicated."

"I can tell." He laughed quietly. "You and him, you two have that thing, you know? That chemistry that's obvious whenever you're around each other. The way he looks at you alone is a clear sign."

Okay, seriously. I had never seen this look that James had apparently always given me! First, Remus pointed it out, and then Peter was mentioning it. Was I just incredibly unobservant?

Right then, Sirius and James walked through the portrait hole looking filthy. They had evidently had a torturous assignment.

I winced at the odor that was coming from them. "Ew. What kind of detention did you guys have, cleaning out the bathrooms or something?"

"No, Lils," James replied, derisively. He articulated each word, so his displeasure was clear. "It was worse. Much worse. We had to scrub the floor of the Potions classroom. Every. Single. Tile."

"I guess you shouldn't have made that Befuddlement Draught right under Slughorn's nose. Maybe then you wouldn't have gotten detention in the first place."

Sirius looked at me then. "Oh, well excuse me for wanting to have fun in that impossibly boring class run by that loon. I guess that's also why I'm not in the Slug Club like you, Lilith."

"What were you going to use the Draught for anyway?" I asked curiously, ignoring Sirius' jibe and his new nickname for me.

They looked at each other wordlessly, and then James answered. "I don't know really. We just thought it might be fun to have in stock."

I chuckled at his response. "You two are never going to grow up are you?"

"Nope!" They answered simultaneously, both with wide grins on their faces.

"Good. "

Later, when Remus came back from the library and had started talking about tutoring, James' face lit up.

"Hey, Lils, that reminds me. Did you want me to tutor you later for Transfiguration?" He looked at me meaningfully and I got his double meaning; the secret message he was trying to get across to me. I decided to toy with him a bit.

"Hmm. I don't know. I think I understood class pretty well today."

His eyes widened then narrowed when he realized what I was doing. "Are you sure you don't want any help?"

"Yes, I'm sure." I smiled sweetly in his direction. The other three were watching our conversation, amused by it, since they were the only ones in the room that understood what was happening. Everyone else thought we were actually talking about James tutoring me.

"Okay. Then prove it. I would like you to change this, er," he looked around the room for an object. "Ah, here we are. Show me that you can transform this quill into a chicken."

He was praying on my intelligence, knowing I never would have resisted. Clearly, James understood me very well.

I squared my shoulders after I pulled out my wand. While I muttered the incantation, I performed the complicated hand motion I had remembered using in class that day. Or something similar to it, at least.

The feather quivered and burst into a small flame before incinerating into ashes on the table. I gritted my teeth as the Marauders and a few people around us snickered at my failed attempt. "Okay, fine. I do need help. Where do you want to meet, James?" I had planned to give in anyway, but it would have been nice without the humiliation.

"I'll meet you in the Astronomy Tower at eleven," he smiled, victory making his expression overly arrogant.

"Fine. See you then." I stalked up to my dorm as they continued to laugh at my expense.


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** I'm kind of iffy with this chapter. Tell me if I should I re-do it or fix it somehow please. Thanks!

UPDATE: Right now, I'm in finals week of school, so I won't be able to write for a bit. I thought I might update all the edits I made to the story, though it's not as exciting as a new chapter would be. Sorry for the delay; please bear with me!

**Disclaimer:** All of belongs to J.K. Rowling. The title belongs to Atreyu.

**Chapter 6: Our Sick Story (Thus Far)**

I sighed. James was over half an hour late to our "tutoring" session. I was bored with waiting. Besides, it was really windy up in the Astronomy Tower. When he would finally arrive, I decided I would have to convince him to go elsewhere.

Although, I had to admit that it was really pretty out that night. The stars were beautiful, so clear and bright. I found all the constellations I knew. I was surprised I could see them all clearly. The moon added immense beauty to the sky. It was in the waxing phase and in a few days, it would be full.

Poor Remus. I knew he hated being pitied for his condition, but I couldn't ever help it. As the days passed, you could physically see how it took a toll on him. We learned in Defense Against the Darks Arts that it was a very painful thing to go through the change, and I couldn't imagine having to do it every month. It was a horrible thing to have happened to him. It was good fortune he had the other three Marauders to help him out a little.

When James was an hour late, I began to consider looking for him. I started to get worried, because James was hardly ever late. What was keeping him occupied?

As soon as I decided to leave after an hour and a half of waiting, he stepped into the tower.

"Finally. James where were you?"

He just looked at me silently with a peculiar expression on his face.

"James? What's the matter? What happened?"

He took a deep breath. "Okay. Listen, I need you to tell me the truth. Was that whole relationship between you and Sirius a lie, or were you really dating him?"

"Wh-what? Who told you it was a lie?" My heart began to race uncomfortably in my chest.

"Jas. She ran into me in the corridor, and started telling me about how she overheard you and Peter talking. I didn't believe her at first, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It all fits. So I need to know, Lils. Please tell me the truth. Don't lie, because it would kill me. I hate to think that you and Sirius, of all people, would _lie_ to me."

I looked at my feet and tried to breathe slowly to calm myself. She had overheard that? How? And how had she figured it all out? I thought she was just a vapid, flat girl. Peter and I didn't actually discuss any details in a place that Jas could have heard. Although, he was loudly putting the pieces together when we were in the Great Hall. Peter and his large mouth!

I guessed that I was the one to blame, not Peter. I had always written Jas off, never actually taking her seriously. I never saw just how conniving she really was. I was also to blame because I hadn't told him the truth sooner, like everyone had encouraged me to.

"Lils. Please. Tell me."

I closed my eyes, took a shaky breath, and looked into his hazel eyes.

"James…I'm so sorry. I should have told you sooner."

Pain flashed across his face at my confession. "So you-you lied to me? Why? Why would you do that?"

"Because James! I-I love you. So much," I declared as tears streamed down my face.

"Then why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?"

"I tried, and tried to tell you that so many times, but I was too much of a coward; it was too hard. And the day—the _very_ day—that I finally worked up the nerve to say something to you, Jas came over and started snogging you right in front of me. That was one of the worst experiences of my life, watching her be all over you, wishing it was me. Then I panicked and made it all up on the spot, and I forced Sirius to help me. I mean, can you imagine what that feels like to see her kiss you?"

"Yes, actually I can. I had to sit in the common room and watch you snog Sirius. Remember? _That_ was probably harder for me than for you, because you weren't kissing just anybody, Lils. You were kissing my best friend. He's practically my brother!" There was silence after that, and we just looked at each other. Then he spoke again, quietly. "I don't know what to say. You were the last person I thought would lie to me about something like this."

"I know, I know. I couldn't even explain to you how sorry I am, James."

He closed his eyes. "Lils, I love you, but I can't-I can't do this right now. You and me. It's not going to work until I sort this mess out in my head for a bit."

My heart dropped and shattered as I felt shock waves radiate throughout my body. "Wh-what? You…don't want…me…anymore?"

"No, Lils, I do. I just need to think this all though first." James looked away from me as he tried to contain his emotions. "Just give me some time."

"How much time?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I really don't know."

"Okay," I said in a small voice. What else could I have done?

After that, he turned and walked down the stairs. I stayed and sobbed in the solitude that the Astronomy Tower provided. I found it ironic that my heart was broken in the same place that I had first kissed James.

After what felt like hours of putting myself together, I slowly began my sad walk back to the common room, sniffling with every step even though the tears had subsided a little while ago.

"This night couldn't possibly get any worse after that," I softly said to myself.

Just as I passed a seemingly empty classroom, two strong pairs of hands pulled me into the room. Excellent. Now there were random hands that pulled distraught girls into dark classrooms. Exactly what I needed at that moment.

It didn't take me long to realize that it was an actual human that jerked me into the room. That human being Severus Snape, my ex-best friend. The urge to cry reared its ugly, unwanted head once more. I did not need more emotional confrontations that night.

"I can't believe you. I can't believe this."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After I walked out the door, I thought of just how badly my night had turned. The conversation with Snape, added to my previous encounter with James earlier, made me decide that the night _definitely_ couldn't have gotten any worse. I knocked on wood for good luck, just in case.

What was Severus thinking? How could he possibly imagine that I would feel that way about him after what had happened in fifth year? I had told him right after that whole debacle that we couldn't be friends. And it's not as if I ever showed any romantic feelings towards him. Maybe he just needed to get that off his chest. I couldn't say because I didn't know him anymore. That made me even sadder—if that was even possible. Severus was once my best friend, but he had become a stranger to me now.

I slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning the whole time; I dreamed about James. Every time I held my hand out to touch him, he would be slightly out of reach. I tried and tried to make contact, but he would always be just far enough away that I couldn't.

To put it lightly, the next morning, I felt completely drained. I could literally feel the bags under my eyes dragging down my lower eyelids. At least it was Saturday.

I had decided to brood in the library in privacy, also avoiding James as much as possible in the process. I found a desk in the book shelves hidden away from everyone. I brought a few books along with me and read absently, not really seeing the words or the pages. I sat there for a while without any interaction with anyone. It was pleasant.

Then it became not so pleasant.

"Lily Evans. Nice to see you. Can I sit here?" I heard Jas say. Merlin! Couldn't that girl leave me alone? When I didn't respond she sat down across from me anyway. "Well, you're looking completely hideous today. What happened—oh, wait. Let me guess. James and you had chat a last night. Did he tell you that I had chat of my own with him? It was quite nice. For me, anyway. Probably not so much for you."

She started laughing, and I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't say anything. I knew she was only trying to provoke me.

"You know, you can take a lesson from this all. Watch who you piss off. I'm sure it was a surprise for you that I, Jas Stevenson, the brainless blonde, wasn't as stupid as you first thought. Please. I thought you were supposed to be intelligent. Apparently, you only have book smarts."

I looked out the window, swallowing the angry words that wanted to explode on her.

"Hmm. I would have thought that you'd be screaming or hexing me by now. I mean, you are kind of volatile. Although, it does look like you're holding back some nasty words."

I got up from my seat and collected my books. I'd had enough of this. As if I didn't feel depressed already, Jas had to come and kick me while I was down. She continued speaking even as I started to walk away from the secluded reading spot.

"Oh, and Lily? I must say, I know how sad you have got to be feeling right now. James is such an expert at kissing. What a loss. I especially loved it when he would sigh my name during one of our frequent snogging sessions. I wonder if he ever thought of me when you were kissing him. He was probably comparing us. Who do you think he liked better? There's me, the experienced one, or there's you, the…er…amateur."

I stopped walking, my calm facial expression finally broken. Now, I was pissed. No, I was beyond pissed. I was livid. I whipped out my wand so fast she didn't have time to react. The books dropped from my hands and I took very slow, deliberate steps towards her.

"Jas, you manipulative bitch. What the bloody hell is your problem? You've already taken him away from me. What more could you possibly want?" I whispered fiercely.

Now we were so close, my wand was almost touching her model perfect face. She wore an infuriated expression rather than the cool one she'd had on a few moments before.

"I want you to know how it feels to lose him. I want you to know how much I hate you. I was so _sick_ of hearing him talk about you. I _especially_ hated the way he looked at you. God! You're not even that pretty!"

"Ah, I see. A little resentful are we? I wouldn't have thought you would be jealous of me."

That hit a nerve. "I'm _not_ jealous of _you_."

"Sure seems like it."

"Yeah, well, don't start thinking that he was always on about you. I kept him distracted _very_ easily most of the time. And trust me, he definitely loved every minute of it. I could tell by the size of his—"

She didn't get to finish that sentence because her face was busy colliding with my fist. I had never punched anyone before, because I had never had a reason to. At that moment, however, I had a lot of reasons to hit her. Satisfying as it was, it really hurt!

She covered her shocked face, and then peered at the blood on her hands that had spilled from her nose. When she looked at me next, Jas had murder in her eyes. She lashed at me and seized a clump of my hair, pulling me down to the floor. I kicked the back of her knee and she buckled down to the ground with me.

Still with the advantage of a mass of my hair clutched in her fist, she forcefully steered my head to the leg of the table we were previously sitting at. My left eye ended up being the one that collided with the table, and I could feel the bruise forming instantly.

I turned and punched her again, that time in the jaw. She reeled back away from me, and I saw that a crowd of students was beginning to form once Jas no longer obstructed my view. An audience. Great.

Jas sat up again, still looking homicidal. As she attempted to attack me again, however, both of us were pushed against the bookshelves by a spell the librarian, Madam Pince, used.

"Both of you," she said in her stern voice. "To the infirmary. Now. Professors McGonagall and Sprout will join you there shortly."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ladies! What has gotten into you two!" Professor Sprout exclaimed as soon as she saw our disheveled appearances. Madam Pomfrey had already mended us to the best of her ability, but she told me that my black eye was staying for a few days. But I wasn't alone because Jas' split lip was staying, as well.

"Lily attacked me." Jas had the audacity to simper this line.

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did! You hit me first!"

Professor McGonagall looked at me, surprised. "Miss Evans, is this true?"

"No—well, yes. I did hit her first, but she provoked me!" I pointed an accusing finger at the devious slut lying pathetically on a cot.

"How did she do that?"

"She said—she said…well, she said something I'd rather not repeat."

McGonagall looked displeased. "Miss Evans, I am extremely disappointed in you. You're the Head Girl. There's nothing she could have said that should have ended in a fight. Especially a physical one."

"Yes, Professor." I hung my head in shame.

"Now, Miss Evans, meet me in my office tomorrow after dinner for your detention."

"Yes, ma'am." I peeked over at Jas, and she was wearing the most annoying smirk. I felt the urge to punch her again.

"And Miss Stevenson," Professor Sprout began. It was weird to see the normally cheerful teacher so angry. "Meet me in the greenhouses after dinner tomorrow for your detention. Be sure to bring gloves."

Then it was my turn to smirk in Jas' direction. At least my detention wasn't in the greenhouses.


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Wow, it's been a while. Sorry, my computer broke during winter break, and then the first week back to school sucked beyond belief. It might be a little while until my next one because this semester seems like it's going to be a lot harder than the last one already. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Here is chapter 7, and still, none of it belongs to me. J.K. Rowling has that honor. Except for my title which goes to Alexz Johnson or whoever wrote this awesome song for the show "Instant Star."

**Chapter 7: Liar Liar**

I stayed in my room most of Sunday so I could avoid everyone. That seemed like the only place I could get some time alone. I had decided that the library was not as safe as I had once thought, since it was easy for that psycho girl, who found pleasure in ruining my life, to find me there.

My left eye was horrible to look at; Jas had really done a number on me. The bruise extended down to the top of my cheekbone and to the outside and inside corners of my eye. It was very unattractive, not to mention, it hurt like hell. The bruise constantly throbbed, and I definitely couldn't touch it unless I wanted a quick, sharp dose of pain.

My detention time was approaching, so I descended the stairs quietly, though I hadn't expected anyone to be in the common room. That was why I skipped dinner, so I could get to McGonagall's office without being noticed. I should have known that Sirius, Peter, and Remus would be waiting for me.

"Merlin, Lily!" Sirius exclaimed when he had seen my eye. "I heard that you had gotten a black eye, but I didn't expect it to be this bad."

"Yes, yes it is."

"Does it hurt?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Sirius, it feels fantastic."

"Well, I guess that's what you get for losing your balance while beating the hell out of someone." He retorted.

"What?" My voice had gone flat. "Who said that?"

Remus was the first to answer. "Jas. She's been talking to anyone who will listen. That girl really does talk a lot."

I was seeing red. "That's not true, you know. That…girl seized a clump of my hair and bashed my face into a table. And I did not beat the hell out of her, I only punched her twice."

"I guess, she's been lying." Peter said.

"Yes, do you think?" Then I immediately felt bad for answering him so harshly. "Oh, Pete. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just that all this drama is wearing on my patience."

"I know, I understand," he smiled forgivingly.

"Has James heard of any of this?"

"I don't know of anyone who hasn't." Sirius replied. "Jas is quite dramatic, and it seems as though she has it out for you. She's been playing the victim all day, whining about her split lip. She could probably give Moaning Myrtle a run for her money if she keeps it up."

"Yes, I can imagine. Anyway, how's he taking it? Does he believe her?"

They all looked at each other uncomfortably then. Uh oh. This wasn't going to be good.

"Well," Sirius started. "We wouldn't really know. He somehow figured out that Remus was in on the whole fake relationship thing and assumed that Peter was too, so Prongs is ignoring us all."

Guilt washed over me. "I am so, so sorry I dragged you all into this. I should have just sucked it up from the beginning."

I put my hands over my face in self disgust. As I was breathing slowly in and out to calm myself, I felt three pairs of arms circle themselves around me. I peeked out through my fingers (since I could move my arms due to the strength of the arms) and saw Remus, Sirius, and Peter had enclosed me in a big group hug. I had the best friends ever.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I walked out of McGonagall's office after my detention, and sure enough, James was leaning against the wall waiting for me. I exhaled in annoyance and turned the opposite direction.

"Lils, wait. Hey, Lils!" He ran up to me and firmly, but gently, caught my arm. My anger was momentarily subsided because he was touching me, which, in turn, made me even angrier.

"Get off!" I wretched my arm away from his hand with more force than was needed because he let go anyway. I kept my eyes down and my left one turned away from him. "What, James? What do you want?"

"To talk."

"I'm sure Jas has done enough of that today." I responded, darkly.

"Lils, please?"

I sighed in defeat. "Fine. What do you want to talk about?"

"Don't be daft, Lils, you know what. How could you have done that to her? Jas is the most innocent girl I know. She wouldn't hurt anyone. Ever."

I gave a humorless laugh; it amazed me just how much she had him wrapped around his finger. "Really? That's funny because I seem to remember her giving me this."

I turned my face toward him so he could see the damage that Jas had done the day before. Shock flittered across his face and he cupped my cheek, slowly turning my head to get a closer look.

"Merlin," James breathed. There was tenderness on his face that I hadn't realized I had missed seeing. We stood there staring at each other for the longest moment, and it was kind of nice. Until he ruined it. "I can't believe you lost your balance."

"Lost my balance? James, I didn't do this to myself, Jas did. _I_ can't believe just how much she has you convinced. I will admit that there was a time that I thought she was nothing more than a vapid girl, but she has shown me who she really is." Then I told him the whole story, the true story, of what happened in the library. He didn't seem to be too receptive.

"I really wish that you would stop lying to me."

"What? I've only ever lied to you about that one thing with Sirius! I'm not lying now, I swear."

He just shook his head. "What happened to you?"

I felt the deepest sense of betrayal at that last question, and I realized that I'd had enough of that conversation. "That's a question you should be asking yourself. By the way, your friends say hello."

I turned the corner at the end of the corridor and ran right into Jas. What a big surprise.

"God! What are you doing? Are you stalking him or something?" I asked.

"I'm not stalking him. I'm just making sure you don't interfere with anything."

I rolled my eyes and brushed past her.

"Your black eye is revolting. I can hardly believe I gave it to you. Apparently, I don't know my own strength. Oh, and I must thank you for the splitting lip. It added a nice effect, and helped make James particularly easy to convince."

"Merlin! You disgust me."

"Oh, wow. That hurts. Lily Evans doesn't like me."

"You know, you should really look into growing up and getting over yourself."

"Yeah, well…you have nasty red hair."

I laughed out loud. "Good come back!"

She huffed and strode down the adjacent hall in annoyance.

Little did I know, there was someone watching the whole scene.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I went to the kitchens then, starving my brains out. I hadn't eaten all day since I had been hiding in my room.

"Hello, Blissy," I greeted one of the house-elves. "What sorts of food can I sneak from you tonight?"

She beamed up at me. "Hello, Miss! Blissy will get you whatever you like."

"All right, I think I'll just have whatever is left over from dinner."

"Blissy will get it."

She scurried away only to return a few minutes later with chicken, biscuits, pumpkin juice, and pudding.

"Thank you so much, Blissy! This is wonderful!"

"Blissy is happy to help you!"

"Yes, yes I know." I suddenly felt a wave of gloom wash over me as I began to eat the chicken.

"What's the matter, Lily Evans?" Blissy's large eyes looked concerned and she started to fidget with the pillowcase that she wore.

"Nothing really. I don't want to burden you with it."

"Blissy wants to help, Lily Evans!"

I looked down at the house-elf and saw the attentiveness in her face. This is why I loved house-elves. They were quite possibly the kindest creatures. They always wanted to help and were forever ready to listen.

"Well, I'm in love with this guy—"

"James Potter!" Blissy exclaimed.

"Yes. How did you know?" I had looked at her questioningly, but Blissy just stared right back up at me. "Okay? Well, anyway, James and I were together for a bit and it was amazing. I was so happy, but then I had to go and mess it all up with not telling him the truth. Now, he's stuck believing the lies of this other girl who's complete evil. I can't convince him otherwise, and now, I'm stuck." I finished miserably.

"Well, that's quite a predicament, Miss Evans." But it wasn't Blissy's voice that said that last sentence; it was much too deep compared to her high squeaky one. My entire body froze up and my eyes widened. That voice was the only one that could have sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach the way they did then.

Just then it clicked why Blissy had exclaimed his name earlier. It was because she had seen him, meaning he had probably heard everything I had said. I turned slowly, and sure enough, there James stood.

"James. What are you doing here?" That was the first brilliant thing that came out of my mouth. Great.

"Well, I was hungry, and the place to go when you're hungry after dinner has ended is the kitchens."

"Did you hear the whole thing?"

"Yes, I did."

I turned towards Blissy. "Why didn't you tell me he was here?"

"I'm sorry, Miss! Please don't be mad at Blissy! James Potter told Blissy to be quiet." Her immense eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, Blissy. Don't cry. I'm not mad at you, I promise."

"All right, Lily Evans, Blissy won't cry. Sir, what would you like to eat?"

"Whatever Lils is having is good for me, thank you." He smiled at the house-elf as she scampered away once again in search for food.

"So what part did you come in on?" I poked at my food.

"Right at the beginning, I think. I also heard a conversation you had earlier. You know— the one you had with Jas?"

My fork dropped from my hand with a clang. Merlin almighty! He was impossible! "James if you wanted to fight more, then I'm just going to leave because I'm tired."

"No, no. I don't want to fight. I followed you after the last thing you said to me, and stopped when I saw Jas and you talking. I heard everything she said to you. Lils, I'm sorry I didn't believe you before. She's just so good at deceit."

I sighed. "I can't blame you, I guess. I was kind of surprised when I found out just how wrong I was about her."

"I'm appalled at myself for stupidly listening to everything she said. I can't believe I was so blinded."

"So does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"No. Well, I'm not as mad at you as I was. I'm still angry about that lie."

I looked down in shame. "I know, and I'm really sorry about that. But, I have to say, you should really stop being mad at your friends. First off, Peter didn't know anything about it until recently, and I sucked the other two into it. It's not their fault, it's mostly mine."

"I know," he sighed. "I haven't been a very good friend to them lately, have I? That's going to change though. And soon. I'm realizing just how much I miss them."

"Yes, yes. They are a good bunch." I smiled at the thought of them.

"I miss you too, Lils."

I looked up at him, shocked and wondering if I had heard him right. That's when I finally saw it: the look. The one that everyone had been talking about. The one that everyone but me had seen.

"So, um, even though you're still mad at me, does this mean that we're at least no longer fighting?"

He grinned in a sloppy manner. "Hm. I suppose."

For a few hours after that, we just sat and talked about everything and nothing at all. It was exactly how it should have been between us. I had found that the tension was gone and I would come to consider it one of my most favorite memories.

There was only one last thing left for us to deal with. So we took care of that with a make-up snog session. It was quite amazing.


	9. Epilogue

**Author's Note:** I know that it's been a while, but my computer died once again after the last time. I, however, have managed to fix it. Yay! So, this is the (short) epilogue to this little story of mine. I'm thinking of writing another story, but I have to think up a story line first.

**Disclaimer:** As always, I am not J.K. Rowling. I am in fact just a lowly English major that has high hopes of becoming a writer.

**Epilogue: Promise**

In the end, James eventually got over the whole lying to him issue. Which, truth be told, happened more quickly than it would have due to the massive amounts of snogging-while-we-should-have-been-patrolling kinds of activities that I'd imposed onto him.

James also forgave the rest of the Marauders, and they were all as close as ever. I have to admit to turning a blind eye here and there to nefarious activities they may or may not have done. I compensated my guilt by thinking of their pranks as "bonding activities". Besides, they were perfectly harmless (or, at least, close to harmless) and they hadn't done much pranking for a while anyway. I looked at it as a necessary evil.

As for Jas, she moved on from James. I think she eventually realized that it was a lost cause trying to steal him away from me once more. He broke up with her quietly, or at least it would have been quiet if she hadn't caused such a scene. There was a lot of screeching and nail brandishing on her part. It was actually kind of scary, but then again, I never expected anything less from Jas. Last I'd heard, she got with some Ravenclaw and they've been manipulating and cheating on each other ever since. Very healthy relationship, indeed.

We graduated from Hogwarts and most went their separate ways; the Marauders and I still stuck together, having fun. I got a job at St. Mungo's and James began work as an Auror along with Remus and Sirius. Peter decided on a desk job in the Ministry, not fully delighting in any other career.

James proposed to me after we'd been dating for almost two years, and we married the following spring. Petunia even showed up, no matter how dismal she'd seemed through the whole thing.

There has been some heart-ache along the way. James and I both lost our parents due to the war. His died in battle and mine during a Muggle killing binge the Death Eaters had gone on. I heard Severus was a part of the incident involving James' parents, but I think that's just hearsay. Maybe I'm being an optimist. Thinking of Severus still makes me sad, but I assume losing a best friend will always do that to you.

Right now, James and I are expecting our first child. We're thinking Madeline Marie for a girl and Harry James for a boy. We've already decided that, obviously, Sirius will be his/her godfather. He constantly speaks to my pregnant belly. I don't think I've had an actual conversation with him without having to look down for rather long time now. We're quite excited for the baby despite the conditions of the war. We think with such good people surrounding him/her, he/she will grow to be a very special kind of person.


End file.
